The situation with Bishop Budde pleading with Donald Trump in her sermon last week to show mercy reminded me of a story from my past.
The story is from over a decade ago when I was in a counseling session with my sister. She didn’t want to participate, but I forced it (long story). My sister is an active church member and vocal about her evangelical faith, but she is not a great person. The year before her passing, my mom told my sister that she didn’t treat me lovingly.
Offensive Grace
The crowning act to demonstrate this came years later, shortly after I moved to Tennessee. She called the Tennessee Department of Children Services from California to falsely accuse me of violating two of my daughters. Unbeknownst to my sister, filing a false accusation is a felony in Tennessee. As a result of the criminal investigation into her, the police and Assistant District Attorney confirmed that the allegation came from my sister and even suggested that I file an official request for a copy of the recorded conversation between her and the investigating detective. Some graphic accusations are always chilling, but even more so when they are in your sister’s voice. Despite the ADA and detective saying, “We prosecute false accusations all the time, and these are the worst we have seen.” No charges ended up being filed because the sheriff would not fund the expense of extradition from California. So, I feel comfortable saying she is not a nice person.
Before this situation, when we were in counseling, I suggested that she and I should try to extend grace to each other. After a few minutes, she asked that I stop using the word ‘grace’ because “the way I was using it was offensive.” I have always struggled to understand how a call to show grace is offensive, especially for a professing Christian. I used the word ‘grace’ traditionally, and the concept of grace is a core element of the Christian faith. Surprisingly, the last few days have helped me understand better.
Mercy from the Unworthy
As I watched the reactions of Trump and his supporters, especially those supporters who profess an evangelical faith, to Bishop Budde’s call for mercy, I saw the same thinking that my sister manifested all those years ago. I have seen horrible things said about Budde, supposedly in the name of Jesus. I now see that many find an exhortation to extend mercy, or grace, to someone they deem unworthy to be very offensive. It seems even more offensive if they deem the person calling for mercy or grace to be unworthy.
I wish this were because they simply do not understand the teachings and character of Jesus. Unfortunately, I do not think this is the case. I believe they find the call for grace and mercy offensive because they do understand His teachings but have allowed their hearts to harden.
My sister found my suggestion that we extend grace to each other offensive because she knew Christ would want that. But she had hardened her heart toward me and, in that state, found me unworthy of receiving grace. Further, the idea offended her because, in her eyes, I was too unworthy, too lowly, even to suggest she might alter her pattern of behavior. What inflamed it further was that beyond the hardness of her heart, she knew extending grace was right. Having someone she perceived as unworthy suggests a course of action that she did not want to do but knew was right was offensive, maybe even rage-inducing.
Picking at Calloused Hearts
The parallel is probably clear by now. I do not believe those who claim faith in Christ simply do not understand that Christ desires mercy, not sacrifice. They know it. But they do not want to extend mercy to those who differ in their understandings of worthiness related to gender, sexuality, or citizenship.
Down deep, they know mercy is the way of Christ.
They and the politician they so enthusiastically support do not like being reminded of what, in the depths of their soul, they know to be true, especially by a liberal, affirming woman bishop of a denomination they view as compromised. That is a lot of strikes. They are being reminded about the truths of God and how they should behave toward people they do not want to recognize as neighbors by a woman who they feel should understand the ways of God less than they do. That is a tough pill.
In the hardness of their hearts, they have lost their first love, and the pleading of Budde to Trump, or my request of mutually extended grace, picks at calloused hearts. It hurts. Maybe it even bleeds. But in their eyes, neither a female bishop nor a younger brother should have that power. It is offensive, and hardened hearts seek to protect themselves. They lash out. They cannot admit the truth.
Mercy from the Unworthy
Many, including me, have responded to the outrage about Budde’s call for mercy by sharing Christ’s call for mercy in the Sermon on the Mount. This proves the theological point. But they know the point already; they just cannot admit it. Down deep, they know they are wrong. Yet if they admit it, that would mean they also need the same mercy, or grace, that they are refusing to extend to those they consider unworthy. If they also need that grace and mercy, then maybe the ones they are judging are not actually less worthy. They are conditioned to think in false hierarchies of worthiness. They then fear that a liberal, affirming female bishop or a younger brother are the ones who saw and called for God’s truth. They won’t accept that it might mean the bishop or brother is more worthy.
That can’t be! The offense! Their defenses rise. The attacks ensue because they see themselves as the worthy ones. Despite what they know to be true in the depths of their spirit, grace is deemed offensive, and mercy is seen as counter to the ways of God.
Their perspective of their own worth is calcified like their hearts. No argument or Bible verse will soften their hearts. Only a work of God can.
My Prayer
I pray that after they have hardened their hearts, God extends the mercy to soften their hearts rather than harden as He did with Pharaoh. I pray that they learn that neither the bishop nor the brother are more worthy than they are. We are all flawed image-bearers of God in constant need of grace and mercy. I pray that if God is so gracious as to soften their hearts, they grow to desire mercy, not sacrifice, like Christ himself. I pray we all strive to extend prodigal grace and boundless love.
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